Key Coaching Skills

Are you a leader? A team manager? Or anybody else who deals with people? Practising the four Key Coaching Skills can help anybody to improve their professional and personal relationships - be it as a leader of any type or as a team member.


There are four parts to this training that build upon each other so I recommend you go through the videos step by step.

1. Ask Good Questions
2. Listen
3. Paraphrase
4. Be Yourself
5. Bonus: Practice Your Skills


Asking good questions is not about learning a list of good questions. Good questions are in the moment and share three main characteristics

1. They are open (they invite for sharing)
2. They are single-barrelled (one question at a time)
3. They are non-suggestive (allows for any type of answer)

Some examples of good questions are:
What do you think about the design?What is your opinion on this email?How was the meeting?
Some examples of bad questions are:
Do you like the design of this? (closed question, suggests liking)That's a stupid email, don't you think? (closed question, suggests finding it stupid)Did you just talk about the last event or actually something interesting in the meeting? (closed question, double-barrelled, suggests talking about the last event, suggests finding talking about the last event not boring)


You do not get anything from asking good questions if you do not listen to the answers. We often are afraid of having silence and find it awkward, however, oftentimes silence is necessary to go deep.

Ask yourself:

What kind of silence is this?

Provide time and silence for the other people to contemplate and run different scenarios in their head. Insights take time.


After asking a good question and listening to the answer, you need to check whether you actually understood the other person accurately.

Communication happens on four levels:

1. What the speaker wants to say
2. What the speaker actually says (physically)
3. What arrives at the listener (physically)
4. What the listener interprets

At all of these levels, miscommunication happens. Paraphrase to overcome miscommunication.

Example phrases are:

- Just to see, whether I understood you right: you said...
- Let me just check: you say that...


Living is about being yourself, being authentic, being real.

Be honest and frank if it, in any case, serves the people you are with. When my students ask me a question that I do not know the answer of, it might serve them to say "I do not know". It communicates to them, that I am not perfect and gives them permission to not be perfect either - which is necessary for learning. It might not serve them, in which case it would be better if I ask a question back.

It can be bounding to share about your insecurities in some moments and not contribute anything in other moments.

In any case, it is important, to be honest towards yourself.

Whenever possible, speak your truth and share your authentic you with the people around you.


Ingredients for change:

1. Be aware of what you want to change
2. Take responsibility for the change you want to see
3. Act and practice the change

The best way to improve is to intentionally practice and get feedback. You can ask your partners, colleagues, family, etc. to give you feedback on

The type of questions you ask (open? single-barrelled? non-suggestive)
Whether you give enough space for answers
Whether they feel like you really understood them

When it comes to being yourself, you can measure how comfortable you feel in your situation and ask people close to you - at work or at home. They usually pick up on moments when you are not true to yourself.

If you want to go deeper, send me a message and we will see how we could work on this together.

Thank you!